Being Thankful versus Grateful
In Canada, October is a time when we traditionally give thanks on the second weekend of October. I love this holiday weekend. Between absorbing the beauty of the fall colours all around as we hike, seeing extended family, eating lots of delicious food and the fact that it’s a very sentimental and reflective holiday, makes it one of my favourites.
While I’m generally a very thankful person most of the time, on Thanksgiving we are very deliberate about it. Like many other families, we have a tradition at Thanksgiving dinner where we each speak up about what we are thankful for. Common themes at our table are good health, family, and the abundance of food that we are so lucky to have. I’m not sure what our Thanksgiving is going to look like this year with the current state of the world. I do know one thing and that is, my husband Joe, the kids and I, will continue giving thanks at our turkey dinner, but those hikes at the cottage and celebrating with extended family is unlikely this year. This makes me feel sad. Though, rather than dwelling on the negative, I need to find the positive.
One silver living that has come out of the last 6 months is that it has forced me to be so much more reflective. I guess that’s what happens when life slows down and you spend so much time alone in your thoughts. To help me make sense of how to move forward and cope with these changes to traditions, life in general, and even weather in the upcoming months, I need to take time to be reflective.
As the world continues to change and we keep pushing through these difficult times, is being thankful enough? Is carrying on with our tradition of giving thanks at the dinner table on Thanksgiving enough? I don’t believe so. Not with all of the strains from the pandemic and daily life. We need to go deeper. The reality is, giving thanks is not enough for most of us right now, at least it’s not enough for me. I know that I need to live a life of gratitude. In fact, if I don’t, I know that I will go down a slippery slope and likely become depressed and overly negative. This is happening to so many people right now and we need to support each other. Changing our mindsets is the first step.
As we conquer the upcoming winter months and lonely holidays, we need psychological armour. I hate to use the analogy of a battle to describe the next 6 months in the pandemic, but through my lens that’s what I see . Gratitude is a state of mind that we need to help us face this battle. Why do we need to change our state of mind and why is being thankful not enough? To understand this I should distinguish what I perceive to be the difference between being thankful and grateful.
As I understand it, being thankful is a feeling. One that comes and goes and is more of a response. For example, I’m so thankful that my husband loves to cook and we can share this responsibility in our house. Whereas, being grateful is an emotion expressing an appreciation of everything that one has in one’s life. In other words, having gratitude is more of a state of mind and grows over time.
Frankly speaking, when life is really difficult, it’s hard to find the positive. Right now is one of those times. With so many restrictions in our lives due to the pandemic, none of us will likely be able celebrate with our friends and families for a long time. I know that it’s for the best, but that doesn’t make it any easier. That’s why now more than ever, in order to push through these times, we need to change our mindset and gratitude is one way. How do we do this?
I recently came across a wonderful quote about gratitude by an American author named Melody Beattie. She eloquently says, “ Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow”.
I love this quote. It resonates with me so much and it clearly emphasizes the importance of this mindset. So, as we soldier on during the upcoming winter months and holidays, and when things get more lonely and hard, let’s try our best to choose gratitude. It’s not going to be easy, I know it. Try writing out 5 things in the morning that you are grateful for and remind yourself of these items or others before you go to bed. So, to kick start this habit, start by writing this quote on a piece of paper and put it up next to your computer. I will also do so, right next to my happy lamp. I’m pulling out all the tricks to push through the next while. We can get through this time safely by staying mentally and physically healthy. So, let’s do this! Come and jump aboard my gratitude journey. I refuse to let this pandemic conquer me.