The Very Real Struggle Around Schooling

I never thought in a million years that Joe and I would have the conversation as to whether we should send the kids to school or home school them because of a pandemic. Just writing this sentence, blows my mind. It’s crazy!! In the past, homeschooling has never been in the cards for us, with both of us working full-time. I’m also a bit of a nerd and I always loved school, so I have always had the mindset that the kids would too. On top of that, I might have gone to Teacher’s College ions ago, but that doesn’t mean that I am at all cut out to teach my own kids. No way! Then COVID struck, and bam, I actually had to teach the kids and I had zero choice in the matter. 

Now with September closely approaching, we had to make the final decision school or home school. When COVID hit us by storm last March and even through the spring, it never crossed my mind that today I would seriously be contemplating homeschooling my kids in September. I thought COVID would be long gone and we would be back to normal. Boy, wasn’t I seriously wrong! While in one breath it was a no brainer because I run my own business and Joe works outside the home as a pharmacist. The simple fact was, I could barely keep it together in the spring so there was no way that I could manage it at all in the fall. On top of everything, Alex is slated to start high school and he has been dying to go to a ‘typical’ school for years now and ride the bus, I couldn’t take that away from him too. The spring was hard enough with him at home with lack of routine and the world shutting down, I can’t even imagine what things would be like if I kept him at home in September. So at the onset, our decision was a definite yes, and then we started to chat about all the ‘what  ifs’ and that’s when our decision became less definite. There were so many factors that I hadn’t considered at all. 

Just like everyone, I really struggled with not seeing our family for months at the beginning of COVID. Not hugging and kissing, don’t even get me started. I HATED IT!! We just started to actually feel comfortable in each other’s company again without being nervous that we were going to contaminate each other. It never dawned on me until I thought more, and more about the kids going back to school that these weekly or biweekly visits would be coming to an end. Especially with the ages of both sets of our parents. I love seeing our families and spending time with them has been a huge bonus for our mental health. On top of it, through the summer both sets of grandparents have been integral on the childcare front. Now with the kids going back to school, that would have to come to an end too. This makes me sad just thinking about it. I can’t believe how naive it was for me to have this not even cross my mind when we first made the decision to send them back to school. 

On top of that, I looked into the school board protocols for sick kids where our kids will be attending. That was an obvious eye opener too. If Alex, Andrew or Nicola tell their teacher that they don’t feel well, our family will have to shut down for two weeks! Have you met Alex? Oh my, he is Mr. Joker and loves it when people have empathy for him. Do you have any idea how many times he tells people he feels sick? Honestly, we are up ‘Schitt’s Creek’. To add to this, we all know how sick kids generally get in the fall. If this all comes to fruition,  how is Joe going to get to work? How am I going to run my business and serve my clients? What if I get sick? All of these thoughts are tremendously overwhelming. 

Lastly, I didn’t realize how nervous I am about getting others sick. Not just my parents and Joe’s parents, but seriously EVERYONE. I am not overly nervous about our kids getting sick and maybe I should be, but I am nervous about transmitting the virus to others. It freaks me out. My worst nightmare is if our family was to become the first family to expose hundreds of people in our region. Just picture it…” it all started to spread in Hamilton with the Maricic family.” Ughhhh, it makes me stressed just thinking about it! 

In the end we have decided to send the kids back  to school and hope for the best, but to be honest, we’re planning for the worst. Everyday the plan keeps changing which is to be expected and while it’s a little unnerving, it’s definitely making me more malleable. Who would have guessed that I would go with the flow?!  While this decision has been hard, it’s the right one for our family. I also know that this isn’t true for everyone. Upon first glimpse it seems like a no-brainer, but in truth when it's time to dig deep and really think about it in relation to your own life, family and careers this decision is not as clear cut.  I understand how hard this decision is and know how important it is to support one another regardless of the route one chooses for their family. No one should be judging one another’s decision. Despite all our ‘what if’s’ we realize that we need to send them all to school at this point and see how things go. If it doesn’t work out as planned, I might just have to pull out my teaching hat again, but let’s hope this isn’t the case.