The Right Stuff

I’m not sure if it’s the time of year, or exhaustion from the current climate that we live in, but over the last couple of months, I’ve felt the extreme need to delve into new areas of inspiration. It’s funny when looking back, I think what precipitated this feeling was a combination of the drab winter days that were upon us, the mental exhaustion of COVID and watching a thought-provoking documentary on Netflix in February called, Minimalism. 

There are so many individuals who have delved deep into the psychological perils that can be associated with having too much ‘stuff’. Most of us have heard of Marie Kondo, or the Minimalists — Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. The one overarching idea is the notion that we attach ourselves to items that we think will give us joy and happiness, but in fact can often do the opposite for our psyche. So, the more that we’re able to let go of, the happier and freer we will feel.

This was music to my ears in one breath, but entirely scary in the other. Was I one of those people that they were describing in the movie, that constantly bought things in hope of making me happy? Had I spent the last 44 years of my life on this pursuit, without even knowing it? Even worse, was I unconsciously perpetuating this behaviour for my clients too? If you know me at all, you would realize that this threw me into a psychological tail spin!

Since I was a little girl, I’ve loved ‘stuff’. My mom frequently recalls stories of her having to secretly go to my room with a garbage bag or a donation box to clear out things when it got out of control. I was one of those people who would get something new, like a fun Garfield post-it pad of paper, and refuse to use it. Instead I would just collect more and more fun notepads and before you knew it, my room would be inundated with more stuff and once again, my dear mom would have to go in secretly to clear out my room while I was at school. 

To be honest, this continued throughout my twenties, but instead of accumulating notepads or other must-have trinkets that I felt I had to have as a young girl, it transferred to clothes and later on, as you can imagine, to home decor. I moved out when I was nineteen and at that point in my life, I was always trying to make the place that I lived in feel like home (and of course it had to look nice!). What better way to make it feel like home than decorate it with more stuff, or at least that’s what I thought I should do. Needless to say, throughout my twenties, as I continued to move from Waterloo, to Toronto up to Thornbury, then to Owen Sound and back to Waterloo, I managed to accumulate a house full of stuff. This definitely accelerated due to the fact that I had to redecorate each of our homes and to make matters even worse and more expensive, the style of each home was entirely different! By the time we moved back to Waterloo, our basement could have been another home decor store! 

I used to love HomeSense. In fact, I feel like I should have part ownership in the company from all of the money that I spent there in my late 20’s and 30’s! Yet, over the last five or so years, my mindset has changed. I’ve had this nagging feeling that I was just buying things for the sake of buying. I realized not that long ago that our house didn’t need to be filled with another vase, or book end. Instead, I wanted to fill it with items that had history, or told a story about our family, travels and our beliefs. It’s scary to say though, even with this mindset, I still managed to accumulate more and more stuff, but this time shopping at my parent’s house or going through old bins! 

Now, let’s tie this back to the Minimalist’s perspective. Even with this more holistic perspective, was I still on a mission of collecting stuff to fill a void even though I wasn’t necessarily buying these items? Should I eliminate all of our stuff and would that feel better? How would this ideology affect my design career? What would our century old home look like with no stuff? So many questions that needed to be reflected on.  

It’s been a couple of months now since I watched the documentary and after countless journal entries, I’ve done some major spring cleaning and have cleared out some areas of my house and it has felt so good! I’ve gotten rid of the countless glasses for every drink under the sun, to the extra place settings I’ve been holding onto, books and so much more. You know what they are right, it has felt liberating. Those things all have no meaning and they were just filling up very valuable space. There are so many people out there who could actually use those items I’ve donated and enjoy them. 

While I’ve been pretty good about getting rid of those kinds of things, anything with meaning or history, is a whole different story. Much to my husband’s chagrin, I’ve realized that I’m not ready to get rid of the large wooden hippo that I carried home on countless planes by myself from South Africa many years ago. Or, the small reproduction painting that used to hang in my grandfather’s office. I know that Marie Kondo, Joshua and Ryan might tell me otherwise and that I should rid myself of it all, but I simply do not want to. These items make me laugh and smile — dare I say, they ‘spark joy’. On top of it, it’s fun telling the kids the background story to each. 

I know that I still have lots of work to do, but what I do know is that our home is warm and tells a story about us. It tells our guests where we have travelled to, what we like to do in our spare time, how we cook,  that we have three beautiful children and love colour. I know that as a designer it’s important to finish off a space, and I don’t want to stylize my client’s home with more stuff, but rather incorporate memorable and important pieces with positive memories throughout their homes. I want to give my client’s a finished product that brings a feeling of joy and comfort to them each and everyday they are home. Yes, more stuff doesn’t make us happier, but a well curated home can be so incredibly calming.