Lessons Learned from a Family Heirloom

It all started this fall when my parents decided it was time for them to downsize and move out of the house that I grew up in. I was spending time with my mom going through their stuff and sorting through what they could move to their new place, what needed to be given away and what my brother’s and I might like to have. Truth be told, it was hard for me to imagine any of their possessions in my home. Everything that they had looked so well placed and had been in their home for over 30 years. After speaking with my brothers, we had a game plan on what was going to each other’s homes. In the end, it was decided that I would take my parent’s old table, chairs and buffet from the dining room. We live in an old house and who better to modernize an antique than me, a designer.

This dining room set had been in our family for generations. By some people’s standards, you might classify this table as an heirloom. I wouldn’t exactly say that it's valuable from a monetary standpoint, but it sure is with its rich history, beauty and wonderful story. Even though I’ve sat at this table thousands of times over the years, it wasn’t until it was set up in our dining room that I had to learn more about it and thus sparked the beginning of my journey with a history lesson into its origins. Who knew that a single piece of furniture could evoke so many emotions in me, deep reflections and  inadvertently teach me a series of lessons? My first two lessons happened almost simultaneously with its arrival to our dining room. 

When it first arrived, everytime I walked in our dining room I noted that I felt like I was in my parent’s house. It felt like a guest. In order for it to feel like it belonged in our house, I needed to learn more about its history and how it fit into our family 100 years prior to it arriving in my childhood home. Thus began my first lesson: take time to listen to stories from your elders. 

At this point in my middle aged  life, my parents are our elders. My grandparents have long passed. So when I asked them if they would mind telling me more about the history behind the table, they were delighted. With a pen and pencil I began to record and quickly learned  that the table was a wedding gift to my father’s paternal grandmother from her husband. Apparently, during a holiday in the UK, my dad’s grandmother, Rachel, saw the table and told Arthur, her suitor,  about it. Story has it that he brought it to North Bay, Ontario from the UK just before the turn of the 19th century for his dashing bride. That must have been quite the journey for the table back in those days! I can just imagine how long it must have taken to arrive! I loved listening  to my parents recount its history and how this story in turn led to sharing other important ones from our family’s history. Oral traditions that could have otherwise been lost had I not taken time to listen. 

This solid mahogany table was handmade with unbelievable detail by a true craftsman in the UK where it was purchased in the late 1800’s. Since arriving, I’ve gone over it in fine detail. Let me begin with the pedestal.  The pedestals are typical of the Victorian Era in the UK with its large ball and claw feet. Our’s looks like a giant eagle’s talon. Oh how the Victorians loved to decorate in their day. Nothing was simple. It wasn’t enough to have that detail on the pedestals that it had to be replicated on the feet of the 8 chairs as well!  In addition to the pedestal details are applied moldings to the apron or skirt of the table. These circular moldings were created with such care. I’ve eaten so many Sunday dinners on the table over the years, and I never truly appreciated the undeniable craftsmanship of the table and the beautiful detail that was right before my eyes. Thus my next lesson learned: be in the moment and take time to absorb the beauty that is right in front of you. There is so much that we take for granted and miss if we don’t stop and appreciate it. 

I remember as a young girl getting dressed up and eating dinners at this table, primarily on Sundays. There’s always been a feeling of formality associated with this table. While we tended to eat special meals at the table, on the other hand my dad remembers as a young boy going to his grandmother’s house at lunch from school and eating at it! How times have changed! What’s hard to imagine is, his grandmother Rachel sat at the table for lunch until 1964 when she passed. At that time, the table moved to my grandparent’s house in Toronto until it eventually moved to my childhood home in the late 90’s when our grandfather, Bompie passed away. After well over 100 years of meals and stories being shared from this table there are so many scratches, and dents. Our old dog Miki once decided to gnaw on one of the eagle talons during a dinner party! With all of the dings comes my next lesson learned: embrace imperfection. With imperfection comes beauty. 

Who would have guessed that a table, a piece of furniture could give me so much to reflect on. My goodness! So with this holiday season upon us, when I sit at our table on Christmas Eve with my parents, husband Joe, Alex, Andrew and Nicola, I will be sure to eat up more of my parent’s stories, as well as the new ones. As we enjoy our dinner, I will be sure to share the story of the craftsmanship of the table and give thanks for the abundance of love, wonderful food and family that is before me. I will toast the many generations that sat at this table during the holidays and beyond. Most importantly, I will relish the time spent with my family. Our time is not infinite so enjoy every moment with those whom you love. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!