COVID Consciousness: 5 Things that I Have Learned About Myself During Quarantine

I have been on a massive roller coaster ride since the beginning of quarantine. Not any old roller coaster, like a  ‘Behemoth’ size ride! My poor husband and kids!! To be honest, when this first started I believed that it was only going to last a couple of weeks and then I would be able to go back to my old life. How wrong was I! Now school is officially cancelled for the year, many camps have closed, COVID is still all around us and I am still trying to home school my kids while running a business. Life is bananas!! 

I’m a deep thinker. I have always been a deep thinker and feeler. That’s why at week 4, I started to lose it. I was a wreck. Things needed to change and it was time for me to go to new levels of thinking about  my life as a mom, how to help Alex grow, who I am as a wife and how I wanted my business to pivot. I call it the beginning of my COVID Consciousness. I started to journal, open my mind to ways of doing things and to let things go. In a nutshell, here’s the coles note version of what I learned about myself and my family during this time all wrapped up into 5 points. 

1) Need My Alone Time

 Holy Smokes! I don’t know about you, but I have spent the last 7 weeks with at least one of my kids right behind me from 7am until they go to bed at 9. I love my kids, but after a while it gets a little frustrating when I get zero privacy!! Honestly, my only quiet time is between 5 and 7 in the morning until Alex gets up! Definitely not what I am used to, let me tell you! Now I am  grateful for that 30 minute run by myself  that I took for granted prior to the middle of March. 

2) I Love Work and I am Not a Good Stay At Home Parent

I stayed at home with my boys for a short stint when they were really young and I must admit, I struggled with it. That's when I started my business. I needed a creative outlet. I became obsessed with things I couldn’t control. Wow, 10 years later in quarantine, I’m having the same control issues. 2 out of 3 kids have adjusted to this change really well, but our one son, not at all and I couldn't control it.  It was tough. I’ve learned to let it go, and listen to my intuition. I am happy to say, things are so much better. I now have room to get creative personally and professionally and damm I feel good! 

3) I Drink Too Much Wine

Wine is my fave!! New Zealand Savingnon Blancs here I come! But, with quarantine it was getting too easy drinking wine and it was becoming a bad habit and too expensive! It's crazy how 1 glass of wine turns into 2 and then 3 or even 4! The worst part is it was really affecting my sleep and was making me even more emotional with my kids. It was just adding fuel to my roller coaster! My poor kids and husband! Don’t worry, I am still enjoying my Sav. Blanc, just not everyday and one here or there. I am sleeping again and so much happier thanks to cutting back. 

4. I Need to be More Present

Our lives were too busy before quarantine. I always felt like I was on a hamster wheel. Going and going. Between running my business, 5am swim practices, horseback riding,  constant work texts and calls, I never felt like I was living in the moment. I was irritated, jumpy and stressed. My to-do list was running through my head instead of enjoying being with my family.  I have realized the phone can’t be by my side all the time. Turn it off and be present with my kids. Thank you quarantine. 

5) Work Equals a Good Day

Checking off boxes is my fave! My number one is getting work done for my business. I love my job. I also love working hard and doing well. Over the years, I have started to equate my good days with getting a lot of work done in my business. That’s tricky when you are  homeschooling your 3 kids and working from home. Talk about having to change my mindset or else going into a deep depression. This was the first item I worked on. I  got real and lowered my work expectations. I can only do my best. Can’t get it done? It will always be there tomorrow. This time with my kids will disappear. I might have less money in my account, but we are all happier. 

COVID quarantining is hard, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. This time to grow has made me a better person. As they say, new habits are formed after 12 weeks. So, I think it is safe to say that I won’t go back to where I was pre-Covid. Life is too short and precious.  I am excited about what my life looks like as a peer into the future.